My Return to Autism

It felt so familiar to type in the security code on the door to allow myself into my class.  I was there when the doors were first installed and put in due to a student who would go AWOL and was difficult to stop.  But this time was different than the last two years, when I entered as a visitor.  This time, I was coming into my classroom.  It didn't feel like it at all when I first walked through the door.  Furniture had been tossed back in after the floors were waxed for the upcoming year.  But it was.  This was my class.  Again.  Almost 7 years had gone by since the first time I walked in this room on a tour by the then vice principal who would become a principal at this school.  She was excited to show me the students in the classes and couldn't wait to introduce me to the one who I was possibly going to teach.  The room had seen so many changes from staff to students, couches to chairs.  Some graduated while others just left.  And some stuff was just pitched cause it was peed on!  (furniture of course)  It was all too familiar yet brand new all at the same time.  As I looked around, I didn't know where to begin.  There were so may uncertainties about this place and what the next year would look like.  I didn't know any of my students but one and was truly starting over again.  All the excitement but very little of the fear, because I knew this was where I was supposed to be.  I guess I had known for while but now was the time to come back and was thankful that I was able to.

Like any first time teacher I had all the same desires.  I want to do a great job, help my students, and not screw anything up.  And like most first year or any year teachers for that matter, I was probably not going to bat 1000 out of the gate.  But I was confident in the process and knew that I didn't have to rush in and change everything all at once.  But that I could take my time and do what I needed to do step by step.  I kept thinking once I knew I was going to make this transition that this was going to be a journey.  A marathon not s sprint which is what I would always say.  But I am ready to walk it and am so glad that my return to autism starts now.