More than I could have ever imagined: One of the beginning stories of Project Outreach

Eight years ago this January we met in the classroom at Spanish Fort High School for the first informational meeting of the club that was going to be designed to help focus on the students with special needs. The purpose of the club was relatively clear and unclear all the same. I knew that as a classroom teacher, I wanted to help my students connect with their typical peers within the school. However, I was somewhat limited in figuring out how this was going to happen. I had a bundle of ideas, but wasn't sure just how well the student body would accept it.  According to some of my fellow teachers, the Project Reach program was not overly accepted during its first year. Mainly due to lack of understanding and misinformation about the students in the class, the teachers and students just didn't know how to wrap their minds around the students that I was now teaching. Honestly, I wasn't even teaching students that first year, as I have been hired to teach one student specifically. However, as the days continued, I spent a great deal of time thinking for more ways to connect him and the others with the population of diverse students at our school.  There were two other teachers that I worked with that first year. We surely did not see eye to eye on many levels, but one thing that we all agreed on was it was a good idea to connect our students with their nondisabled peers. One of the teachers that I had met, Mrs. Ojard, seemed to have what I felt was one of the best classes in the school! Her food and nutrition class was one that I could always tell when they were having a good day, because the aroma of what they were cooking permeated the halls of the school. You could smell the cinnamon as it floated down the halls and it made anyone's mouth water as they walked to the gym. Since I knew a great bridge between people was food, I asked her if she would be willing to start a kind of reverse inclusion experiment. The idea was for her students with predetermined menus, would come into our special services class, and cook something with our students. There was obviously hesitation when you think of the safety of all students involved. Many of our students were known to have upsetting behaviors and who thinks adding hot plates to that equation. Sounds like a good idea, right! But we both agreed with safety first, that this would be a really positive interaction and we decided to move forward. We even started with some tasks that did not require cooking at first but mere assembly of items. As the experiment began, the students were amazing.  It was so cool to see the kids in my class taking directions from their typical peers from measuring out items, to mixing and pouring.  Like in any class, some students exceeded expectations while some just got the job done.  But more than anything, the bridge between students with disabilities and their non-disabled peers had grown, and we were all the better.  After each class did their experiment, I would ask the students to evaluate how it went and what we could do to make it better.  It was great to hear things that were at times humorous like, “Maybe pouring liquids is a bad idea.” Or “ I think we need to wash our hands more after someone picks their nose.”  All things that were definitely needed to take into consideration, but the best comment we received was when I asked the questions, how would you help these students with disabilities in our school.  There were so many answers from, “let them join a homeroom,” to “throw parties for the classes on holidays.”  But the best idea of all was, “we should start a service club for students with special needs.”  And so we did.  And 8 years ago this January, that is what started the official beginning of Project Outreach. 

What makes this story seem like a dream from so long ago, is that this past week on September 30^th, we sat in the conference room of Spanish Fort High School and signed the articles of incorporation making Project Outreach Gulf Coast an official non-profit organization.  This step will only allow us to move forward throughout the county to help all students with disabilities experience what those students did that first year and every year after.  Fortunately, this is only the beginning.  I would have never thought that making pancakes or cinnamon rolls would have been so instrumental in my life, but that image of those students working together has been life changing for so many, and I hope with this new initiative, for many many more. 

Plowing through and protecting the Blind Side: Are Offensive Linemen meant to be Special Ed Teachers?

When I was in high school I played football and loved it! I was on the offensive line and there were a couple things that were my main responsibilities. Number 1: run blocking. The essence of run blocking is to find the person that you're responsible for and get them out-of-the-way so that someone else can come through and be successful. Removing obstacles and making sure that there's nothing in the tracks to slow the running back down is what makes a good run blocker.  Sometimes I had to take two assignments to ensure that the holes were cleared by starting with one man and moving up to the second level on a linebacker just to make sure that that running back could make his way through. Although sometimes successful with this more difficult challenge, removing more obstacles obviously made it easier for the runner.  Number 2: protect the passer (quarterback). Moving into pass block position and making sure that any force that was coming at me was going to be stopped so that the quarterback could do what he was supposed to do (throw the ball). Unfortunately at times the quarterback never saw when I failed or messed up as he was dropped by an unsuspecting defensive tackle. Although i managed to do my part well most of the time, there were several occasions where my best offensive protection was just look back and yell "Look out!" in hopes that he would've gotten rid of the ball by the time the defense of lineman arrived to make a tackle. Although those occasions were far and few between the reality was to be a successful linemen I had to do two things: remove obstacles and to protect my person to make sure that he could be successful. I think those two correlations have carried into the special-education world.  I always think for the students in my class but if I cannot remove the obstacles for them to be successful, I will never increase the likelihood for their success. However in doing that I always have to keep an eye on protecting them from things that I may or may not see it coming. In the Public school, it could be something as simple as a fire drill or the gym not being available for PE that day (which is super hard btw). But no matter what it is, my job is two fold: remove the obstacles and protect the person. 

I think that's what made Harrison so great when he came in as a peer helper in my class. Harrison is a senior offense linemen for the Toro's at Spanish Fort. Last year it was his first year in Project Outreach and honestly most people thought he came because of his girlfriend! However as the year went on, Harrison started forming relationships with students in our multi handicapped class. He would spend any free time going into that class to be around them and even left class for extra bathroom trips to pay them a visit from time to time. Harrison would leave his normal crowd of friends of his age to go enter into a classroom were very few recognize them and only a couple seemed even interested in his arrival.  Children with Downs Syndrome, autism, and Cerebral Palsy were all slowly giving him a little piece of attention as he visited daily.  But with a greater time commitment and his own desire driving him, Harrison wanted to build relationships with the students that would be lasting. Coming in to the fall Harrison became a leader of Project Outreach, our service club that connect students with disabilities to their non-disabled peers for the better of them both. Harrison had demonstrated such passion for the students that we felt like his presence on the leadership team was inevitable.  We were right. He didn't just want to be their friend, he wanted to think for them and help them by planning events and activities for the students with the other leaders on the team. But probably the greatest attribute that Harrison brings as a leader is not just his willingness to remove obstacles and protect the people is the fact that he is one who brings people with him. Slowly but surely as the year began, more and more of Harrison's friends, the other players on the football team, started showing up to more and more of our events. In the morning before the bell rang Harrison would bring one or sometimes two of his friends into the classroom to connect with the students that he has grown to love. In his mind, why wouldn't he share what's become such of great value to him. Although he still jokingly makes fun of the fact that his friends can't open the door, and don't know where to stand and where not to stand, he is bringing them with him. This shows his commitment to not only be a leader but to multiplying this vision into others lives. This is probably one of the greatest successes that I will ever see as a teacher. My cosponsor said one day he walked into her class with a student from my class to introduce him to people during his communication segment of his schedule.  He was prompting the student as he had been taught to introduce himself and ask others "What's your name?" Ms. Daniels later came  to my class and said, "he's like a little you." Taking information and putting it in the mind of another person and watching them take that same information and give it to someone else on their own is really the root of multiplying your life. Harrison doesn't even realize what he's doing and his impact on the lives of others or that anybody's even paying attention to him. He's just a guy whose taking something that he loves and sharing with the people he loves because that's what you would do when you're excited about something. But what's even cooler to me is the fact there even doing it!  He could be doing anything with his time at school, but this is how he spends it.  Honestly I think it's become part of Harrison's second nature. What he does on the field is same thing he does off the field. He spends his time removing obstacles and protecting people who are sometimes a little more defenseless than others. And that may be why offense of lineman could be the best special-education teachers out there! 

I Wish I Could...

"Can't you make them stop". These were the words that we're spoken about one of my students who was not having that good of a day. It wasn't that they were upset for no reason, they were just not getting their way and was taking it out the way that they had learned. As my student was clearly being a disruption to several other classes a teacher walked by and said to one of our staff, "Can't you just get them to stop?" When that was told to me a few hours later anger and rage filled in my heart immediately followed by sorrow and sadness. I didn't know who it was, and in all honesty, it really didn't matter. My first thoughts were what do you say.  How should i respond to this when I was clearly frustrated according to one of the other staff in my class. I guess my answer to this question, "Can't you make them stop?" was simple.  I wish I could. I wish there was no such thing as Autism. I wish that every student in my class was in regular classes striving for the same goals as their nondisabled peers. I wish that the students who I teach didn't have to have visual schedules or times built-in for reinforcement to ensure that they completed the tasks at hand. I wish that we didn't need four adults to watch nine students in the classroom that looks nothing like the others in our building. I wish that our students could voice their frustrations with words and even facial expressions and not self injurious or aggressive behaviors. I wish that my students saw the future as a bright horizon instead of a possible reliance on other people for all of their wants and needs. I wish that their parents were not constantly thinking of "I wonder what will happen if something happens to me first." I wish that everyone in our school, could see the world through our eyes and understand that the small strides it take weeks and weeks to accomplish are worth the hours and hours of time it takes to accomplish them. I wish that the students in the class is surrounding us understood that that test that they get to take for that homework assignment that they chose not to do is a privilege and an honor and that our students would love to have that opportunity. And I wish that more students came into my classroom and embraced and engaged the students on regular basis like the wonderful students in Project Outreach had.  And that the end of the night when I'm thinking of other ways of how we could do things better, what can we do to help the student deal with the behaviors, what social story I can write to prevent it from possibly happening again, and what else can we do to not interrupt everybody else around us, when I think about the question of "Can't I just make them stop?" My answer is still devastatingly sad, I wish I could.  I really wish I could.  

Changing Perspective: Some times you gotta lay on the floor!

It's over!  The first week of teaching.  I knew I would survive but it felt more like thriving being back in the special education classroom.  So much familiarity but also with so much urgency to do and change things to be the way I want them to be.  It wasn't all bells and whistles but I would say it was by far my best first week of all my teaching career.

One of the best stories of the week had to do with one of my new students who I am getting to know. We had gone to PE and our two Leadership students were with us.  At our school, we have a program that is basically reverse inclusion.  Typical students who are juniors or seniors, come into the special needs classes for a block.  While in the class, the students work one on one with students in my class as well as provide support for myself and the staff.  The goals are to help increase socialization with typical peers as well provide opportunities for the typical students to learn more about their peers with autism.  It's not always pretty but it is always beneficial for both!

So, as I was saying, we had come into the gym for PE and one of my students was bouncing a basketball when he decided to lay down on his stomach close to the middle of the gym floor still bouncing the ball.  It appeared that he was looking intensely underneath the ball gripping it with two hands and dropping it.  Over and over he would bounce and catch while looking intently underneath the ball. I walked over and thought in my head, "What is he looking at?"  Now here is the time when I really can't care what a gym full of teenagers are thinking.  Thats not a struggle for me, but it is kind of awkward at times.  So I did what I knew was the only way to find out what he was looking at.  I laid down on the floor next to him and began to watch.  What I saw was super interesting.

Our gym floor had been recently refinished and a clear coat of wax had been added to the floor.  Some new designs and decals were added as well as the three point area now was a different shade.  From where I was standing it just looked shiny and I wasn't really sure what he was looking at.  So I laid down, parallel to him, and began to look under the basketball that he was so rhythmically bouncing.  The newly waxed floor was more than just shiny from this angle, it was reflective.  As I watched, my student was bouncing a ball as if he was opening and closing a window that he was looking through.  But what he saw were students running the perimeter of the gym floor looking like a streak of light.  As the 20-30 students ran and he bounced the ball, the visual light that was coming through the ball was super visually exciting and neat to look at. It was also enjoyable to see the different colored outfits back various colored streak run by as he kept bouncing and watching.  The visual parade of streaks was super enjoyable and very pleasing to the eyes.

Now I had a chance to not only see what he saw, but also to let someone else get a taste of this perspective.  I told my student what was going on at the time.  Now lets face it, I knew I looked ridiculous but sometimes you just gotta get a different perspective to see what they see.  As I shared what I was witnessing, I really didn't expect her to take a first hand look for herself.  I mean this a high school senior girl surrounded by a bunch of students.  But she did.  And she was super excited as she made her own observations of what she was witnessing from this new perspective.  I think one of the most enjoyable parts of my job is not only getting an understanding of my students and their world, but sharing that understanding with others no matter how easy or hard it may be.

Sometimes when teachers see students do a certain behavior we look at it only from our perspective.  We see how we see it and not how they see or even feel it.  We ignore their experience only for our perception and then in turn make false assumptions about whats going on.  That day all three of us got some huge benefits.  For me, I got a better understanding of my student that will hopefully help me as the year goes on.  For my Leadership student, she gained a glimpse into autism that she may have otherwise never seen if she wasn't willing to lay down on the floor and see the world through his eyes.  And for my student in my class, I know he saw a variety of different things, but what I will hope he sees is that others are willing to lay down, watch the floor with him, and maybe just maybe start the beginning of a brand new friendship.  Every perspective is different and to get a better understand of the world of autism, sometimes you may have to lay down on the floor.

Velcro, and Labels, and icons oh my

Creating a space for children with autism can be a daunting task.  Especially if you want to make everything look and appear seamless with all your visual prompts.  Sometimes you have to start from the beginning and label everything.  Every work space labeled, every icon to match, and the velcro that is used to interchange those pieces so that students can manipulate a schedule to make it through their classroom can be so long of a process that you feel like your brain will explode if you see another little colored piece of paper ready to have velcro put on it.  But some of the things that are done are for what all special education teachers goal should be...making the students as independent as possible.

Sometimes success is not measured in complete or incomplete.  In fact, for most of us teach children with disabilities, its more of a how much better can they or do they get with time and practice and prompting.  And with the increase of skill and the greater ability to manipulate a schedule comes a greater sense of independence.  This is what keeps pushing teachers to make the goal from 4 out of 10 right to 6 out of 10 right.  And although a 60% success rate may not look appealing to the outside world, the 20% increase is what makes you wake up the next day and try it all over again.

You may never stop making those labels, or cutting those icons, or putting little pieces of velcro on the back on both.  Because if you are constantly seeking to make them as independent as possible, you never stop trying to get that additional 20%.

First days of School: Don't forget...Remember

For many people, the first days of school are full of excitement.  From school supplies and uniforms to new teachers and even new schools.  To the first day of that special grade or even to the last year of someone's momentous career.  But for some of the families with children with special needs, these days can be a blessing and a curse.  For some parents its the delight of the return to structure and order cause they are just proud of themselves for making it through summer and not hurting their child.  Others enter this day with a heavy heart, not knowing if the teacher in the class is going to love or care about their child in the way they do.  I mean they are aware of the anger that they feel towards their own precious little ones, how in the world will this new stranger treat them well especially if they have a melt down.  No starting school can be both exciting and terrifying for all parties involved but there is one thing that I have learned as a whole.  Remember.  Remember that the more you work as a team the better you can accomplish all of your goals.  Remember that parents and teachers may not see eye to eye, but they need to take time and respect one another.  Remember that the home life and school life may be different, but both need to see that they do exist and have purpose.  Lastly, this is probably hardest for me, Remember that you will not be perfect.  You will strive, try, and aim for that goal, but you will fail.  Both teachers and parents.  You will fall short, fall out, cry in public and private, and you will want to quit.  But remember more than anything that you are doing what you are doing for a reason.  It has value, purpose, and glory in that you are changing lives of kids.  So remember why you do what you do, when you don't feel like doing it anymore, and remember if it wasn't for you some child would be less of cause you weren't their.  Always remember that!

Choose your words wisely... "just pick one"

So today I had a few students stop by to chat.  These are typical kids which is what we in the world would say means typically developing.  Anyway, I had my students in my class (students with autism) introduce themselves to these three girls who had stopped by.  Now these boys all wanted meet the girls and needless to say we all have some communication areas which we can and will seek to improve on this year.  But one of the funniest things happened when I was asking one of the students to introduce himself.  I would ask the student, "Say what's your name?" And like many kids with autism, he repeated it exactly as I did saying, "Say what's your name."  Then I would offer a more refined request saying, "No, what's your name?"  In which he then offered, "My name is..."  But I couldn't get him to look at just one of them in the eye and ask whats your name.  He kept looking back and forth and across all three girls.  I then said to him trying to will him in my heart to be socially correct and engaging, "Just pick one and say whats your name?"  I knew immediately once i had finished that saying it as I watched him take his finger up to his nose to "pick one."  Trying not to die laughing as the three girls were at this point, we finally got him to say, "Whats your name?"  Then after they responded with, "My name is____," he immediatly stuck out his hand to shake it with them.  Of course the hand he stuck out was his most recent gold digging finger reaching for this high school seniors hand who in all honesty was going to shake his hand because of how hard he had just worked, but I decided to quickly intervene and switch his hands so that we weren't giving any gifts away to our new visitors and future friends.  The class was up in laughter for this simple interaction that was backfiring on me in so many ways.  It's little stories like this that remind me that everything with communication has to be deliberate.  I will now start being a little more conscience of every word that comes out of my mouth, and i will watch every hand that comes my way.

Why am I calling this, "The Indispensable Ones?"

First of all, this is not a professional blog.  It may have a slant here and there about things I am learning, have learned, or need to learn.  But as a whole, this is a personal blog.  The reason I share this on the front end, is I plan to talk not only about my stories in the class, but also my feelings along the way.  I know many people can't believe I would be a feeling person.  Of course the sarcasm in my last sentence can't be felt as much as if I was speaking in person but those who know me understand.  This return for me has been like a breath of fresh air leaving my heart wide opened and often exposed.  So I am warning anyone now, I may get mushy, tell you about me crying even, so from this point forward, you have been clearly warned.  

So I came up with the name for this blog based on a verse in the bible.  I read a book by a lady named Stephanie Hubach called, "Same Lake, Different Boat."  (totally recommend to any parent of a child with a disability or person who works with students with disabilities.  In her book she shares her and her husbands stories of being blessed with a child with Downs Syndrome.  She also shares the struggles along the way of parenting and how you may be doing similar things, but somethings are totally different. (Hence the title...get it)  So anyway she references 1 Corinthians 12: 21-22

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,

She goes on to share how many times in our worlds, those people who seem to be weaker, or have less to perhaps offer us, or have a disability are not less in any way, but rather a different part of the all combined whole that without them we would be less than we are.  I was floored when I heard this concept because there are so many students with disabilities that have shaped my life in my journey as a teacher that I would not be who I was today without them.  Indeed those kids, your kids, those whom I seek to serve, at my school, they are Indispensable, and we are a better school because of them.  

Here's more on Same Lake, Different Boat

My Return to Autism

It felt so familiar to type in the security code on the door to allow myself into my class.  I was there when the doors were first installed and put in due to a student who would go AWOL and was difficult to stop.  But this time was different than the last two years, when I entered as a visitor.  This time, I was coming into my classroom.  It didn't feel like it at all when I first walked through the door.  Furniture had been tossed back in after the floors were waxed for the upcoming year.  But it was.  This was my class.  Again.  Almost 7 years had gone by since the first time I walked in this room on a tour by the then vice principal who would become a principal at this school.  She was excited to show me the students in the classes and couldn't wait to introduce me to the one who I was possibly going to teach.  The room had seen so many changes from staff to students, couches to chairs.  Some graduated while others just left.  And some stuff was just pitched cause it was peed on!  (furniture of course)  It was all too familiar yet brand new all at the same time.  As I looked around, I didn't know where to begin.  There were so may uncertainties about this place and what the next year would look like.  I didn't know any of my students but one and was truly starting over again.  All the excitement but very little of the fear, because I knew this was where I was supposed to be.  I guess I had known for while but now was the time to come back and was thankful that I was able to.

Like any first time teacher I had all the same desires.  I want to do a great job, help my students, and not screw anything up.  And like most first year or any year teachers for that matter, I was probably not going to bat 1000 out of the gate.  But I was confident in the process and knew that I didn't have to rush in and change everything all at once.  But that I could take my time and do what I needed to do step by step.  I kept thinking once I knew I was going to make this transition that this was going to be a journey.  A marathon not s sprint which is what I would always say.  But I am ready to walk it and am so glad that my return to autism starts now.